Hidden Feelings
by tinylexie
Summary: Subtle hints throughout Season 2 that Darken Rahl has not forgotten a certain Mother Confessor.


I first felt something strange and unknown to me

Stirring up inside me

When you told me that I knew nothing about love,

And that I would never feel love from anyone.

I have spent my whole life hardening myself

Against the world.

Tyrants can't be soft; tyrants can't desire love;

Yet your bold and harsh words wounded me, my love,

Wounded me more than you could ever realize.

I wanted to wound you back,

So I threatened to make your love, the Seeker, my slave.

My words wounded you indeed,

But not in the way that I intended.

You entered the Con Dar, the Blood Rage,

In order to save the Seeker's life.

I had never seen such anger, such passion, such power.

When you were under the Con Dar, my love,

None of my Mord-Sith could match

Your strength or your fierceness,Which flowed from the mysterious power of love,

A power which I wish to understand with your help.

All the passionate emotions in your eyes overwhelmed me.

I had to flee,

But I had every intention of one day seeking you out again.

I had to have you, my love,

And it wasn't just because you belonged to my brother, the Seeker.

I also had to have you, my love,

Because you had awoken emotions within in

That I thought I had long ago completely destroyed.

You helped the Seeker to kill me, my love,

But I still desired you,

Even in death.

You are a true warrior, a worthy adversary.

Your rage frightened me more than the Seeker ever did,

Even though prophecy said

That he would be the one to kill me, not you.

How could I just forget you?

Who could possibly be a better queen for me than you?

Death, after all, is just a minor inconvenience.

Besides, I already had a plan

To return to the world of the living.

I just had to wait for the right moment.

I want your passion and your power, my love.

I want to turn you against the Seeker

And place you on my side instead.

I want you to belong to me,

Like you now belong to my brother.

My brother already has all the glory.

Why should he have you as well?

I love you more passionately than my brother.

My brother is simple, predictable, and boring.

You deserve someone who will stimulate you, my love.

I will always keep your life exciting.

Passion and power can be ours, my love.

The future of this world is ours to shape.

All you have to do is leave the Seeker

And join my side.

I learned of the prophecy

Which said that as long as the Mother Confessor's

Pure heart beats,

The Keeper would be doomed to fail.

I wanted the Keeper to fail.

He had lied to me and used me.

Like my father, like you, like everyone else,

The Keeper had placed the Seeker above me.

Also, I still desired you, my love,

And I did not want you

To have to spend an eternity in the underworld.

I did whatever I could to keep you alive.

I kept my feelings for you a secret from the Keeper.

I made him think that all my devotion was for him.

The Sisters of the Dark can't take a step forward

Without someone holding their hand,

So they did not notice the sadness in my eyes

When they reminded me of the prophecy concerning you.

I had to look down, away from Sister Nicci,

But in her arrogance she suspected nothing.

No one suspected anything, not even you, my love.

I told Sister Nicci to concern herself

With bringing me the Stone of Tears, not killing you.

My plan was the return to the world of the living

And to use the Stone of Tears

To seal the Keeper in the underworld for eternity.

I knew that such a heroic deed

Would not only win me the Creator's favor,

Which I did not really desire.

I knew that such a heroic deed would most importantly

Win me your respect and your admiration.

I would be the great hero, not the Seeker.

You do seem to like the heroic types, my love.

I had to tell the Keeper

That the Creator was walking in the world of the living.

There are so many souls in the underworld,

And many of those souls are loyal to the Keeper.

He would have become suspicious

If he had heard the news about the Creator

From someone besides me.

After all, he believe me to be his most faithful servant.

I had to keep up my act of loyalty to him

Until the time became right for me to leave the underworld.

I knew that the Keeper would want me to open up a rift.

I have had many talks with him,

And I knew of his obsession for the Creator.

Ironically I know more about him

Than he knows about me.

I never told him of my true feelings for you, my love.

I knew that the Seeker was with the Creator,

Which meant that most likely you were there as well.

I definitely didn't want you falling into the underworld, my love.

You're too pure and too good for such a place of torment.

You're a bright, hopeful light in my deep, flooding darkness.

So I only told the Keeper about the Seeker being with the Creator.

Prophecy said that the Seeker

Would deliver the Stone of Tears to the Keeper,

So the Keeper would want to keep him alive.

The Keeper wouldn't want to keep you alive, however, my love.

He was doomed to fail as long as you were alive.

Unfortunately, risking killing the Seeker did not matter to the Keeper.

All he cared about was having the Creator again.

He ordered me to open the rift, and I had to obey him.

He would have become suspicious otherwise.

Fortunately, no one fell victim to the rift that I had opened.

The Keeper punished me severely for my failure,

But my heart leapt with joy the whole time.

You were still alive, my love,

And that was all that mattered to me.

Finally, the time came for me

To return to the world of the living.

Even though you told your confessed Sister of the Dark

To throw a dacra into me,

Forcing me to obey the Seeker,

I was still happy to see you, my love.

The dacra actually helped me

To keep my mind off you.

I knew what I had to do,

And I could not afford

To be hindered by my feelings for you.

As soon as the world of the living was safe from the Keeper,

I knew that there would be time enough for you and I.

I felt nothing when I destroyed all by one Night Wisp

Until I saw the pain that it caused you.

I knew that Confessors had a bond with Night Wisps,

But I did not know that the bond would be that strong.

The heated passion that beats from your strong love

Never fails to both amaze and befuddle me.

Without your help, my love,

I don't think I could ever hope to fully understand

Such passion and such love.

I'm sorry for hurting you, my love,

But my attack on the Night Wisps

Was the only way that I could think of

To force the Seeker to help me.

This love thing is much too complicated for its own good.

I've spent my whole life using pain and fear

To get what I wanted.

The threat of extinction seemed like my only option;

But I knew that the Seeker would see reason in this rare occasion,

And I knew that I would be able to get what I wanted

Without completing eliminating the Night Wisps.

The Seeker, who can be as foolish as the Sisters of the Dark,

Was unable to read between the lines

When I reminded him that he could never be with you.

Then I told him about Cara and how eager she always was to please.

The Seeker thought I was just trying to get under his thought nothing of me mentioning you.

Unlike him, I can be with you, my love.

Your power would destroy him but not me.

The Seeker once again failed to read between the lines

When I told him that I would bask in the Creator's light

With both him and you.

The Seeker assumed that you would be with him for eternity, my love,

But I intend for you to be with me for Seeker will bask in the Creator's light as well.

The Creator, after all, also seems to like the heroic types.

The Seeker will bask in the Creator's light as well, my love,

But never forget that I will be there as well.

I will show you, my love, that I am the right brother

For you to give your heart to.

I love you in a way that the Seeker could never hope to understand.

The Seeker is noble, yes, but he's also extremely simple-minded;

And you deserve a mind as intelligent as your own, my love.

The Seeker, in his simple-mindless, could never have your passion,

The same passion which led you into the Con Dar,

But I have a passion as strong as yours flowing through my blood.

I am better than the Seeker,

And I will one day show you that, my love.

One day we shall walk hand in hand, my love.

Right in front of the Seeker.

For my whole life the Seeker

Has always been placed above me,

But as soon as I have your heart,

I will finally be above the Seeker.


End file.
